BumZap Is the Best Gag Gift. Yes, We're Biased. Read Anyway.

An advertisement, written by the people selling the thing, about why you should buy the thing. We respect you enough to be upfront about that.

You know what this is. You clicked on a link from a soap company's website and now you're reading a blog post about why that soap company's soap makes a great gift. The conflict of interest is total. We are not going to pretend otherwise.

What we are going to do is make the case honestly, because we genuinely believe it, and because the alternative — writing something that sounds like it wasn't written by us — would be both exhausting and unconvincing.

So. BumZap. Best gag gift. Here's why.

The Problem With Most Gag Gifts

Most gag gifts are funny for approximately eleven seconds.

You open them. Everyone laughs. You put them on a shelf. They collect dust for eight months. You move apartments and leave them behind. Somewhere in a landfill there is a graveyard of novelty mugs, rubber chickens, and fake poop that had their moment and were never heard from again.

The problem is not that they're funny. The problem is that they're only funny. Once the joke lands, the object has nowhere to go. It cannot justify its continued existence. It becomes clutter with a punchline.

BumZap is different. BumZap is a gag gift that is also a real thing that a person uses every day.

What BumZap Actually Is

It is soap. Premium, handmade soap. The kind you'd buy at a farmers market from someone who takes soap very seriously and wants to tell you about the process.

It also zings your butthole.

That is the whole product. Legitimate soap with an illegitimate sensation that activates in a place nobody expected soap to ever activate. The tagline is "The Soap That Zings Your Butthole." We did not arrive at this accidentally. We committed to it.

Why It Works as a Gag Gift

It is immediately funny.

You hand someone a bar of soap in elegant packaging. They read the label. Their face does something. That face — that specific face — is why you bought it. Mission accomplished before they've even opened it.

It keeps being funny.

Unlike the rubber chicken, BumZap does not retire after the unwrapping. It sits in the shower. Every morning it reminds someone that you gave them this. Every morning they use it and experience the zing and think about you, possibly with gratitude, possibly with mild resentment, definitely with something. That is more than any other gift you have ever given can claim.

It is genuinely useful.

This is the part that elevates it above the novelty category. It is soap. Everyone needs soap. Nobody has ever unwrapped a gag gift and thought "finally, something I can actually use" — until now. BumZap is the rare gift that wins on the joke and then quietly continues winning every day for weeks.

The story is better than the gift.

When someone asks where you got it, you get to say "there's a company called BumZap." That sentence alone is worth the price of admission. You will tell this story at dinner parties. You will become briefly, inexplicably famous among your friends for having found this. We cannot promise that. We are promising it anyway.

When to Give It

White elephant exchanges — BumZap has a strong track record of being the most fought-over item at any white elephant exchange it enters. We are not making any promises. We are simply reporting patterns.

Bachelorette parties — The bride is getting a lot of candles and wine glasses. Give her something she'll remember. Give her something with a zing.

Bachelor parties — Same logic. More enthusiasm about the butthole part.

Secret Santa — The safest Secret Santa gift that has ever existed. Appropriate for almost any coworker who has a sense of humor, which is most of them, and the ones who don't will at least appreciate the soap.

Birthdays — Specifically for the person who has everything. They do not have this.

Just because — There is no occasion required. Mailing someone a bar of BumZap with no explanation is its own complete artistic statement.

The Honest Part

We are a small company. We make soap by hand. We believe in this product with the specific fervor of people who have used it and cannot stop thinking about it.

We also know that you have options. There are a lot of gag gifts in the world. Most of them will not zing your butthole and most of them will end up in that landfill we mentioned.

BumZap will end up in someone's shower, used daily, thought about constantly, and brought up unprompted at social gatherings for months.

That is what a great gag gift does.

Shop BumZap — The Soap That Zings Your Butthole.

This was an advertisement. We told you it was an advertisement at the top. We hope you appreciated that. We hope you buy the soap.