Dealing With Aging? Consider BumZap.

There was a time when you could sleep in a strange position and wake up fine, when stairs were just stairs and not something to negotiate, when you could eat whatever you wanted at whatever hour and your body would simply process it and move on without comment.

That time is over.

Now there is the lower back situation. There is the thing with your knees. There is the way you now say "oh" involuntarily when you lower yourself into a chair, not because you mean to, but because your body has started narrating its own experience and has chosen "oh" as its primary form of expression.

We Are Dealing With It Too

Everyone currently reading this is aging. This includes the people who wrote it. Some of us are further along than others. None of us are exempt. The people who are not yet dealing with it in any meaningful way will be soon, and when they get there they will understand.

We have looked into this. We have consulted the available options. We have reviewed what is being offered in terms of solutions, anti-aging promises, remedies, and general assistance with the situation of getting older, and we want to report back honestly that nobody has fully cracked it yet.

We cannot help you with any of that.

What We Can Help With

We can make your shower or bath extraordinary. Specifically, we can introduce something to the body washing process that has not been there before — a zing, in a specific place, that changes the experience of getting into the shower from a routine obligation into something you did not know you were looking forward to until you were already in there.

The something is BumZap. It is a premium handmade soap that zings your butthole and sensitive areas in the shower. The zing is real. The ingredients are real. The quality is real. And the effect of having a shower that does something remarkable in specific places is, it turns out, one of the more straightforward pleasures available to a person whose body has started making sounds when it stands up.

You cannot stop aging, but you can zing your butthole. 

Buy BumZap.

What Happens Next

You get in the shower. BumZap is there. The zing happens. You get out. Your knees still do the thing. Your back still has opinions. But that was the most fun you've had in a long time and we hope you keep coming back for more. 

Go get your zing on!